How to Calm Your Nerves and Relieve Anxiety

In order to calm your nerves you need to first get very clear about what exactly has you feeling so nervous. Yes, you’re nervous about this situation, but what specifically about this situation has you feeling so nervous? Are you nervous because you’re afraid of making a mistake? What mistake? Are you nervous because you might get embarrassed? Doing what? Are you nervous because you’re afraid of what people may think? What people? What will they think? Why do you even care? Why else are you feeling nervous? Continue your search until you find the underlying reasons for feeling nervous in this particular situation.

You are feeling nervous right now because there are several underlying fears messing with your brain. For instance, the fear of making a mistake, of criticism, of rejection, of embarrassment, and other fears, are all preventing you from moving forward. These fears are causing you to seriously doubt yourself. In order to cure self-doubt, you need to start questioning the validity of your fears. Does fearing these things actually make any sense? Possibly your imagination is blowing things out of proportion. Potentially things are not as bad as they seem. Question your fears and look for evidence that disproves them.

One of the best ways to calm your nerves comes in the form of curiosity. Getting curious about why you’re feeling nervous will help you start seeing your situation in a more optimal way. You are of course feeling nervous about your predicament because of how you have chosen to interpret your experience. You are in fact right now telling yourself a story about this situation that is making you feel extremely uneasy. This story is of course the thing that is making you feel nervous. Change this story and start interpreting this situation a little differently, and you will begin seeing your predicament in a brand new light.

By this stage you should be feeling somewhat better about your predicament. However, no matter what you tell yourself about this situation, some uncertainty obviously still exists. Instead of resisting this uncertainty, let’s choose to embrace it. Imagine for a moment the absolute worst-case scenario that could take place. Take time to see these events unfold in your imagination, then watch yourself learning from this experience. Now ask yourself: So what? So what if that happens? It’s not like it’s the end of the world. You probably won’t even care about this a year from now. So why worry? Why get nervous?

Even after having made peace with the worst-case scenario, you probably still have some reservations, and therefore still potentially feel somewhat nervous. Things are still uncertain, and you just don’t quite know what will happen next. In order to calm your nerves you need to turn uncertainty into certainty. And the best way to do that is to begin thoroughly preparing yourself for what’s to come. This may of course involve clarifying the goal you want to achieve, identifying the obstacles you will face, gathering any needed resources, and drawing up a plan of action that can help you move forward in a better way.

Having clarified exactly how to proceed in this situation, it’s now time to finally take the plunge. Begin by taking a long deep breath to settle your thoughts. Center yourself and focus on moving forward one small step at a time. Fully focus your attention on the steps you will take, not on your end goal. Don’t even concern yourself with anything or with anyone else, instead just stay present and be mindful of the moment. And if by chance your nerves are still getting the better of you, then turn this experience into a game. Have fun with the process and learn to laugh at yourself when you goof things up. Just make the best of an awkward situation.