Do you struggle with your emotions at times? Difficult emotions such as fear, frustration, overwhelm, disappointment, hurt and anger can certainly present some challenges. They can very quickly escalate and pull us out of a good emotional place and into a very reactive and unresourceful state-of-mind. When we allow these emotions to drive and control our behavior, we tend to process the world very differently. They filter our view of reality, which subsequently prevents us from seeing things in their true form. Things however don’t need to be this way. They can in fact be very different, and it all begins with getting a little perspective.
The purpose of fear is to keep you safe. It’s designed to preserve life and keep you away from potential harm. Fear is of course quite a valuable emotion when facing a mad grizzly bear, however not so helpful if it’s preventing you from achieving your goals. It’s important to remember though that fear is all in the imagination. We fear things because we imagine them to be a certain way, when in fact the situation is probably very different. With this in mind, challenge how you imagine your predicament. Next, reaffirm your goal and prepare yourself thoroughly. The more familiar something is, the less there is to fear.
The purpose of frustration is to alert you to the fact that something is not working. The thing you are doing is not turning out as you had expected. This therefore creates resistance, and that is exactly what’s triggering your feelings of frustration. What you’re doing is not working because you have obviously missed something. Just maybe you’re doing it all wrong. In such instances, it’s helpful to get a little curious. Start thinking outside the box and begin questioning your methods. There could in fact be a better way to get this job done. Potentially you are just not asking the right questions. Change your approach and see what happens.
The purpose of overwhelm is to alert you to the fact that you have your priorities all messed up. You can’t possibly do everything all at once, so why even bother trying? Use this as an opportunity to stop what you’re doing, and begin prioritizing what needs to get done. First, figure out what it is that you are able to control. These will be the things that are within your sphere of influence. Prioritize these tasks and activities, then dump, delegate or reschedule anything you deem to be unnecessary. Now break each of these items down into small pieces and begin working through your list one tiny chunk at a time.
The purpose of disappointment is to help guide you in a better and more optimal direction. Something just happened that didn’t quite work out as you had expected. Possibly your expectations were unrealistic. In that case you may need to reassess the situation. It might even help to set more realistic and attainable goals. However, the greatest value from a disappointment is always found within the learning experience. What you learn about yourself and about your predicament is far more valuable than anything you can do in the moment. Learn all you can from your experience and use it as an opportunity to move yourself forward in a better way.
The purpose of hurt is to alert you to the fact that your needs are not being met in a particular situation. You are for instance feeling hurt because you had certain expectations about how things should’ve been. Things however ended up being very different, and what you expected someone would do, didn’t quite happen. As a result you now feel powerless and emotionally demoralized. Take time to reevaluate your expectations. Possibly you are making a bigger deal out of this than you should be. Next, begin communicating your needs more clearly. Just maybe you’re feeling hurt because of a simple miscommunication.
The purpose of anger is to alert you to the fact that one or more of your rules or values has been violated. You are angry because you no longer feel in control of the situation, and this creates uncertainty. It’s therefore time to reassess your violated rules. Just maybe they aren’t reasonable or shouldn’t even apply in this instance. It’s also possible that you completely misread the other person’s intentions or the circumstances of the situation. Just maybe things aren’t as you make them out to be. Possibly things are actually very different, but your assumptions are preventing you from seeing the truth in the situation.
It’s certainly not easy to deal with these difficult emotions. In fact, in the heat of the moment, as each of these emotions arise, it can be extremely hard to control our habitual instincts and impulses. However, by allowing these difficult emotions to control us, we choose to spiral down a deep dark path that’s unlikely to end well for us, or for the people caught in our wrath.
There is however hope. Your emotional reactions are nothing more but habits that you have developed over a lifetime. They are instincts you have conditioned into your psyche that help you deal with difficult life experiences. The good news is that you can recondition these instincts by building new habitual patterns of behavior over time.
Simply carry this IQ Doodle with you and refer to the cards whenever you experience any of these difficult emotions, then follow the enclosed instructions. Eventually you will break your old patterns of behavior and build new habitual patterns in their place. Your difficult emotions will become resourceful experiences that you can use to make the very best of every situation.
Imagine for a moment you could develop new habits and methods of thinking where you naturally and effortlessly adopt these ideas into your life. How would that make you feel? Would you feel more fulfilled, empowered and in control?
Yes, there is such simplicity within this IQ Doodle, but of course there is a reason for that. Making positive change doesn’t need to be a complicated process. It just needs to be a consistent process where we progressively develop new habits-of-mind through repeated exposure and implementation. And that’s what these IQ Doodles are for.
We have prepared for you an IQ Doodle pack that includes several variations of this IQ Doodle that you can use for guidance and inspiration throughout the day. Use it consistently and you will begin making positive changes in the way you live, work and interact with others.
Visit the IQ Doodle Store to learn more about how to use this IQ Doodle and begin optimizing the way you live your life today.
Learn More About this Topic
Want to know more about this topic? Here are some helpful links to articles that you may find of value:
- How Mindfulness Builds Emotional Mastery @ Psych Central
- How to Better Understanding Your Emotions @ Trans4mind
- How to Master Your Emotions and Take Back Control of Your Life @ IQ Matrix
- The 3 Ways to Deal with Unhelpful Emotions @ Paid to Exist
- The Productive Way to Manage Your Emotions at Work @ Fast Company