Adam Sicinski

[button href=”https://iqdoodle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/allow-for-change-iq-doodle-wd-background.jpg” icon_size=”5″ class=”” target=”” color=”flat” dimension=”small” icon=”None” animation=”” animate=”” animation_delay=”0″ ]Wide background[/button] [button href=”https://iqdoodle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/allow-for-change-iq-doodle-sd-background.jpg” icon_size=”5″ class=”” target=”” color=”flat” dimension=”small” icon=”None” animation=”” animate=”” animation_delay=”0″ ]4:3 background[/button] [button href=”https://iqdoodle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/allow-for-change-iq-doodle.pdf” icon_size=”5″ class=”” target=”” color=”flat” dimension=”small” icon=”None” animation=”” animate=”” animation_delay=”0″ ]PDF[/button]

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Allow Room for Change…

While growing up everything probably seemed new and unfamiliar. It was this way because we lacked experience and understanding. However, curiosity and fascination drove us forward into the unknown. We treated every experience as a learning opportunity that helps us grow and understand the world in a better way. Yes, of course we made mistakes and tripped over many times, but that’s expected when entering into the unknown.

Stepping into the unknown is like walking into a dark room. It’s pitch black, so we don’t know what might be lurking around the corner. As a matter a fact we don’t even know what lies beneath our feet. However, over time as we experience this new environment we become more familiar with what is there, and with familiarity comes confidence and self-assurance. In fact, spending enough time within this environment will sooner or later lead us to a light switch. When the lights go on we no longer face the unknown. We can finally see what is there. Yes, there might still be some fear and uncertainty, but at least we know what we’re dealing with.

This is at least how a child approaches their world. Their curiosity and fascination leads them into that dark room. Yes, the room might feel uncomfortable at first, however over time that feeling dissipates and is replaced with understanding and comfort.

So why is it that as adults most of us no longer have that sense of curiosity and fascination when it comes to stepping into the unknown? It just might have something to do with the habits and rituals we develop over time. It might also have something to do with the limiting beliefs that hold us back.

As we grow up and gain more familiarity with the world, we naturally come across certain boundaries and rules that prevent us from moving forward. We are taught that crossing these boundaries often leads to pain in the form of discomfort, disappointment, punishment, unhappiness, etc. In fact, often we might even experience this pain first hand. This of course leaves a lasting impression on our minds and on our emotions. And so we develop boundaries that protect us from experiencing that pain in the future.

These boundaries of course define our comfort zone. Within this zone we are safe and secure. We rarely experience the harshest of pain, however we probably do still experience a painful restlessness that takes us back to our childhood curiosity and fascination with the world. There has to be more to life than this, right?

The sad thing is that nobody ever taught us that pain can often lead to positive change. In fact, any change, even a change for the better is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomfort. And yet most of us resist change and continue to cling onto our comfort zones.

The greatest accomplishments over the course of human history have not been comfortable. In fact, individuals the world over had to step into uncertainty, had to beat adversity, had to break through their fears, and had to overcome their problems to reach their goals. They had to do this because there was no other way. In fact, sometimes they had no choice because change was forced upon them. But as we’ve already discussed, entering a dark room will often stir up some form of discomfort. That’s perfectly natural and okay. It has to be expected. What’s not okay is walking away from the opportunities that lie hidden in the darkness.

These individuals used discomfort as a platform and opportunity for learning that eventually helped them reach their goals. They had to consciously move through the pain in order to create a better life and world for themselves.

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Action Points

You no doubt have goals that you would like to achieve. However, lying in the gap between you and your goals is the discomfort zone filled with uncertainty, fear, problems and pain. There is absolutely no way to jump across this gap. You must consciously move through the pain in order to create a better life for yourself. Consider for a moment:

• How is my comfort zone preventing me from moving forward?
• What am I missing out on by clinging onto my comfort zone?
• What goals would I like to achieve?
• What sacrifices might I need to make to achieve these goals?
• What adversity and pain might I need to go through?
• How will I gain value from experiencing this pain?

If you want your life to change, then you must change. And the only way to change is to pursue something that lies beyond your comfort zone. Face the discomfort. Learn and grow from the experience. A better life is yours for the taking.

IQ Matrix Maps

Here are links to complementary IQ Matrix posters that go into more depth about this topic:

• Be Open to Change: Provides you with insights that will allow you to be more open to change.
• Embracing Change: Explores how to prepare for and manage unexpected change in your life.
• Embracing Uncertainty: Examines how to find certainty and confidence during uncertain times.
• Expanding Comfort Zone: Presents you with ideas on how to break free from your comfort zone.
• The Seasons of Life: Explores how life cycles through seasons of change that we must embrace.

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Just Take the First Step…

To do it, or not to do it? That is the question. Yes, that might be the question, but thinking about that question really doesn’t get us anywhere, does it?

Many times we end up stuck doing very little because the goal lying before us just seems too overwhelming and difficult to achieve.

We see the goal as a huge mountain that must be climbed. And of course this mountain is steep and there are many bounders and trees blocking our path. It just seems too arduous and taxing to even comprehend that we will ever successfully reach the summit. However, what if your goal wasn’t at the top of a mountain? What if we could view the goal from a slightly different vantage point?

Let’s imagine for a moment that the mountain suddenly morphs into a giant staircase. Yes, your goal is still far off at the top of this staircase, however the difference now is that there are clearly defined steps that can direct you towards that goal.

Now, of course looking up at this gigantic staircase can be quite an overwhelming experience. In fact, the staircase might be so large and your goal so high that you can’t even see where it ends. Or worse, a fog might set in and prevent you from seeing any more than two or three steps ahead.

This can of course be somewhat concerning. Not being able to see more than a few steps ahead can bring about fear and uncertainty. Who knows what exists beyond that third step? Who knows whether or not there is even a fourth step? What if it’s a really big step that forces you to exude a little more effort? There’s just too much uncertainty there. And uncertainty of course leads to fear. Maybe you should just wait for the fog to clear up… maybe one day… someday… or maybe not.

Why in the world do we need the fog to clear up? Can’t we just take the first step? Do we really need to see the entire staircase before beginning our journey? Even if we saw the entire staircase it would be next to impossible to climb the whole staircase with one step. So either way we can only take one step at a time, so why not take the first step we see?

Take that first step… yes you… right now! What happened? What do you see?

By taking that first step you now have a new vantage point. You are one step higher along your journey and one step closer to your ultimate goal. Yes, of course being a little higher doesn’t mean that the fog has suddenly cleared up, however what it does mean is that you might now be able to see an additional step ahead. And even if it’s just one single step, then that’s all you need to step forward once again.

After every step you take you will gain a new vantage point of the staircase, and sooner or later the fog will clear and you will see your goal in full view. But the only way you’ll get there is to keep stepping forward one step at a time.

Of course every step will not be equal. Some steps will be significantly bigger than others and will require more energy and effort on your part. While other steps will be small and easy to walk over. But then of course you need to be aware of those slippery steps that might trip you up and knock you back down the staircase. This is of course okay and expected. After all wherever there’s fog there is ultimately always some condensation which can cause you to lose your footing. But you will learn from this experience and will know better next time how to navigate these slippery steps when you get to them.

Just keep climbing. Keep climbing one step at a time. The higher you climb the more you’ll see and the closer you will be to your ultimate goal.

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Action Points

The next time you feel kind of stuck, hesitant or overwhelmed with the thought of achieving a goal, ask yourself the following questions:

• What’s my first step?
• What one thing can I do right here right now that will help me move closer to my ultimate goal?
• What challenges might I face when taking this step?
• How will I overcome these challenges?
• What’s my next step?

Just keep climbing higher and higher one step at a time. The higher you climb the more you’ll see. You don’t need to see the whole staircase, just take that first step. Eventually the fog will clear and your goal will come into full view. Just trust the process.

IQ Matrix Maps

Here are links to complementary IQ Matrix posters that go into more depth about this topic:

• Drawing Plan of Action: Create an action plan to give you the confidence you need at every step.
• Fake it to Make it: There is uncertainty with every step. Faking it can help you handle uncertainty.
• Overcoming Obstacles: As you take each step you will need to know how to overcome obstacles.
• Conquering Self-Doubt: As you face obstacles there will be doubt. You need to know how to handle it.
• A Curious Nature: Curiosity will encourage you to ask better questions and overcome obstacles.

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The 20 Second Rule…

Every lifetime is blessed with innumerable opportunities that come flooding our way. Some of these opportunities of course come in the form of problems, setbacks and challenges. While other opportunities don’t really seem advantageous until weeks, months or years later when the fruits of our labor and efforts come to full view.

Often however there is a big problem with opportunity because it’s riddled with uncertainty, risk, the unknown and the possibility of failure, rejection and the potential of getting hurt. As such we often hold ourselves back from grasping these opportunities because we just can’t bear to go through the pain.

Consider for a moment that every opportunity you pass up you may never get again. And if it does come around again, it might not be the same. Yes it could be better the second time around, but it could also be worse. You just never know. As such it’s absolutely paramount that we take stock of ourselves during these pivotal moments of our lives and take full advantage of what life has to offer.

But of course this is easier said than done.

We are all riddled with fears about an uncertain future. It’s of course natural to protect ourselves from getting hurt. But it’s often these things that lead to hesitation and inaction. We of course understand the incredible pleasure we might experience if we take this action, but the short-term pain is just too much to deal with in the moment.

It’s important to understand that anything that leads to uncertainty could potentially be riddled with pain — or not. Because things are uncertain you really never know, do you? You have absolutely no idea how things will turn out if you take a specific action until after the ‘act’. Likewise you have no idea how others will respond to something you do or say until after the ‘act’.

The probability of experiencing some form of pain or discomfort might seem high, but that could have something to do with your imagination. Anything we are afraid of doing we tend to exaggerate in our minds. We expect the worst to protect ourselves against taking action. What if instead of expecting the worst you anticipated the best? How would that change how you view the situation?

Have a think about for a moment the opportunities you failed to grasp over the course of your life. Maybe you didn’t approach someone you liked, maybe you said “no” to something that could have been of value, maybe you didn’t act because you feared making a mistake, or maybe you avoided a problem thinking that it was a burden but in retrospect could have turned into something great.

We all no doubt have these pivotal moments in our lives where we reach a fork in the road. We can turn one way or the other way, or maybe we just stand where we are and decide to go back — back into the cozy confines of our comfort zone. But is this really how life should be lived? Is this really how we get the most out of ourselves and live life to the fullest? Probably not.

At the end of your life you will regret the things you didn’t do rather than the ones you did. In other words, you will regret the opportunities you didn’t take because you were too afraid at the time.

Everyone fails. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone gets hurt from time-to-time. That’s life. Everything is a learning experience. And in order to experience life to its fullest we must be willing to take chances, risks and go out on a limb. And it’s much easier than you think.

All you need to do is follow the 20 Second Rule.

Just 20 seconds of insane courage is all it takes. Just 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, afterwhich you can pull out if you need to. But what you will probably find is that within 20 seconds your perspective of the situation will shift. What might have seemed scary or difficult at first may now look very different, and that’s essentially all you may need to build the momentum to make the most of this opportunity.
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Action Points

The next time you are fearful, feeling embarrassed or uncertain about doing something ask yourself:

• If I do this, what’s the worst that could possibly happen?
• How will I deal with the worst case scenario?
• If I do this, what’s the best case scenario?
• How could I display insane courage for just 20 seconds? What then?

Whenever in doubt follow the words of Benjamin Mee,

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

IQ Matrix Maps

Here are links to complementary IQ Matrix posters that go into more depth about this topic:

• A Courageous Heart: Explores what’s required to take a chance and cultivate a courageous heart.
• Courage of a Lion: Provides you with insights that will help you tackle your fears with confidence.
• Expand Comfort Zone: Examines how to push out the boundaries of your comfort zone.
• Conquering Self-Doubt: Shows you how to take charge of the self-doubts holding you back.
• Be a Go-Getter: Explains what it takes to get what you, every time you want it. No fears allowed.